A story of a temptation, peer pressure, depression, celebration, love, deceit, mistrust, anger, hate, decisions, health, family, brain abuse and recovery.
While looking at each of these attributes it must not be forgotten what this does to everyone that is in touch with each of these afflictions.
Excessive alcohol use leads to 95,000 deaths each year and 37 million Americans binge drink at least once a week. (National Drug and Alcohol Facts, March 22-28 2021)
Time to Relax
Once upon a time a family who had been successful financially planned a wonderful trip to a resort in Talum, Mexico. January 2022, was the outbreak of the new COVID. (Omicron) Some of the family members who had looked forward to joining the family were afflicted with Omicron, one family member died from the COVID virus and another was bed stricken from a sports vehicle accident. What seemed to be a great idea one year ago was falling apart. Even with the downfalls the remainder family members boarded their flights, passed the COVID check points and headed off for Talum. Five days of relaxation and fun. Even with the rocks in the road the destination trip was going on even with the obstacles confronting them. This article is with a title of Drugs and Alcohol, so what does this have to do with the title?
One of the travelers who was twenty-four years old and a recent college graduate with a degree in finance was with his family. Because of the recent disruption in crime and drugs in Talum the family agreed to stay on the resort and not go to town. The plan was in place and they all would be safe on the resort for five days and nights.
It almost sounds like a fairy tale. All intentions were wholesome and pleasant. Little did anyone no one of them would not live up to the safety precautions the family had agreed upon. The young man at age twenty-four had been abusing alcohol and marijuana for who knows how long.
A Scenario of Precautions
Each night when family members called it a night and returned to their rooms the 24-year-old would leave the resort and go to the local bars and by weed on the street. For the sake of personalizing this story we will call the 24-year-old Ben. Ben did a great job of concealing his habits and was always back in the morning when the family gathered together. Family reflecting back on these days did have some feelings of Ben’s attitude of I am an adult and I can do what I want and didn’t really mingle in the day with family members.
Preparation to Travel Home
Saturday night and last night. Everyone needs to pack and get ready to leave in the morning. All are accounted for and reported they are ready.
Morning comes and the rides are there to pick everyone up to go to the airport. Ok, lets count heads to make sure everyone is here. After the count they are missing one. Where is Ben? Quick trip up to his room and they find all his bags packed and ready to go but no Ben. Panick begins to set in for everyone. Where could he be. Everyone but two family members go to the airport to catch their flight home.
Search Party Begins
The search party becomes an aunt and uncle. They rent a car and start combing the beaches and showing locals his picture. Ben was seen out in front of a 7/11 store. The search goes all day and into the night. His credit card was attempted to be used but was declined. Phone calls came back to home in the U.S. to tell everyone they have not found him. Ben’s parents have now chartered a flight to Mexico. Just before they leave the U.S. he is found. Ben is in a Mexican jail. It was such a relief for the family to find him alive. Now, comes the negotiation by his uncle with the Mexican authorities to get him out of jail and on to home. Ben’s uncle negotiates a 250-dollar fine and they get him out. Ben seems not remorseful or finds it pretty funny. He doesn’t understand why they just didn’t leave him and he could have got out on his own. Everyone is going to spend another night in Mexico and leave on the chartered flight the next morning.
The Trip Home
On the way home Ben drinks and vapes on the jet. Still no remorse or Thank Yous’ to aunt, uncle or mom and dad. Ben drinks his way home while Dad is exhausted and Mom is relieved. Ben’s aunt and uncle are furious because of his inappropriate behavior.
Up to 40,000 feet and 450 mph heading to home airport. No flight changes just one plane and destination to home.
After Arriving Home
Ben is taken to his parents’ house and is told he will stay there. After observing his erratic behavior Ben was entered into a hospital on the mental health floor.
Ben doesn’t know why he is there. His plans are to get out the next day. His family knows he has some mental health issues. The test continues for a week. Ben is having trouble sleeping and shows deep seeded anger at times. His parents are looking for answers to do the right thing with Ben. Many parents go through this quandary about mental health issues that exist with a child, young man or woman. If you have ever looked for help in this situation you will find yourself often lost. After one week Ben was released and told he will have four days a week of therapy as an outpatient. During this time Ben has confrontations with his mom, dad, aunt and uncle. His behavior is becoming so erratic that other family members don’t want to engage with Ben until he gets help. His parents are reaching out to those who have experience in their lives like Ben’s. The picture they have received is clear that most of these people seem to bottom out before they begin to improve. This situation has great risk in that some of these people like Ben may make a mistake that would harm themselves or others. It may happen they may end up in a psychiatric ward or incarcerated. It is essential when they hit bottom that they find people who care enough and will show them love, faith, hope, grace and peace in their life to begin to fill the gaps of life. Finding the appropriate program will stop the spiraling into a crash and burn scenario to a successful outcome.
A program of building blocks to create a new life experience will provide a new birth in facing life challenges. A comprehensive program looks and the sequence of events which would include the essential key development characteristics of decency. The approach provides the necessity to understand the triune of mental, physical and soft skill balance to provide the foundation of potential improved mental health.
1- Manhood Realities
-2- Create and Cultivate
-3- Manhood Definition
Many young men and women since the baby boom era have grown up without some of the common best practices of mental health growth exercises proclaimed by living with a family that subscribed to life skills of truth and intimacy. Family cognizance gives anyone of us while maturing in life lessons where others in later generations may have missed.
-1- Looking Back
Addiction is such a strong influence that it overcomes any good advice by the ones who love them. It is interesting to see parents, friends and fellow workers seem to ask themselves if they were part of the problem. At my vantage point it seems as if it could be predictable but in many cases it becomes a complete surprise. While working with the addiction problem for the last eight years our program has seen from sever and mild conditions. Our MOBIA mentors have experienced miracles with some very difficult issues. It is not hard to see the methods and material content they are using has been successful. The answer is in the process of filling in the gaps that has existed in these peoples lives. I would encourage any of you to visit the website and hear it from the people who have been in the program. https://mentorsofbethany.org
Read the testimonies from people from all walks of life. Men and women have benefited from a system that develops rather than maintains.
For the story of Ben is yet to come. Ben has had the luxury of having finances that have given him the ability to run from his problems and travel around the United States. There is one they for sure is that everything runs out and when times get tough is usually when they seek out the answer. Do you know the answer?
Author: Gary R Carlson
Executive Director for “Mentors of Bethany in America”