Narcissism and Entitlement

(inordinate fascination with oneself)


(Inordinate fascination with oneself)

The word narcissism comes from a German psychiatrist close to 200 years ago. Over this time the flavor of the word is used primarily with negative connotations. Over the past 20 years, researchers have reported the increase of narcissism has grown by 30%. A behavior that over the years was used by the psychiatric and psychology community.

 Each day what seems to affect you most on how you think, behave, act, or opinion. How should we reach conclusions by translating the communications we are receiving verbally, through social media, in news media or in written journalism? Where do most of these influences come from and how can you trust them? When we draw conclusions, it comes from the mediums mentioned but how do we weigh the validity? Is it because they are friends, family, knowledgeable people, faith-based people, teachers, or unknowns? The discoveries on this blog are not to pass judgment but are only to present facts that are backed by research or factual proof. There will not be a focus on one entity but will be only on the day-to-day discovery that might be of interest to you. 

It is our hope you will be comfortable with the truth and use your inalienable freedom to change and contradict the untruths with the truth. A society that exists on knowledge and truth can make a future of hope, joy, love, and eternal wisdom. So, I invite you to join us on our journey of articles to make you think and hopefully gain enough knowledgeable information to reach your informed conclusions.

Societal conditions are a result of years of how we weigh the value-added result of how you spend time on new information. If there is no immediate gratification or reward, when we experience a community with a lack of interest in collaborating with the challenges in front of us creates a danger zone of entitlement.

You will be interested in how Narcissism, may cause the behavior of problems that it creates in our society today.  Narcissism has grown over the last twenty years by 30 percent. Narcissists portray themselves as vulnerable woe is me, they think they are misunderstood and a need for them to be seen as how smart I really am. They have this idea they are very special. It is a figment of their imagination. They tend to downplay the accomplishments of other people. They see these people as threats. Because of the delusional threats they put other people down. If you have a friend who has these traits, you will see a lack of empathy for those who threaten them with their accomplishments. If you have a narcissistic friend, you may feel like they are in competition with you. The narcissist will receive cues from friends that discount their behavior as harmful, but they just don’t care. You will see they continue to behave in the same manner repeatedly. They are legends in their own mind. They have a habit of not accepting accountability. It takes a professional to diagnose narcissism. But the researchers have shown that the characteristics of this trait have been snowballing in America.

Dr. Jean M. Twenge and Dr. Keith Campbell, have written a book on “The Narcissism Epidemic”, which has given us new insight into entitlements. How does narcissism affect our social lives? People can care about the common good but are extremely selfish. The cost of social narcissism in America is corporate leaders who take big risks and destroy companies, white-collar crime with a lack of integrity, spouses who are unfaithful, parents who use their children as props to make themselves look good, and you must always look better than your friends. Narcissism is like the flu where everyone around you gets the flu, and you feel good about yourself.

Does narcissism exist in our political leaders today? Just considering presidents narcissism has increased each election going back sixty years. Grandstanding on issues will get me some kudos so I will get re-elected. The media has had much to do with the opportunity to exploit narcissism. Media has become channelized, so people seek the confidence exposed to narcissistic behavior. These people usually are hypersensitive to criticism. These behaviors can be harmful when you go to work, and you want your employees to suck up to you and you want everyone to do a high five with you because of how great you are. You may get away with this but then when you expect your friends and acquaintances to do the same thing plus, your family they begin to draw the line. Most of the time we think of narcissism as something bad. Grandiose narcissists are very good at starting new relationships, they are confident and charismatic, but later they may be more likely to cheat, a little manipulative, and more likely to be controlling. These people become leaders and the tell-tale issue with these leaders is that they may be narcissistic and take big risks, do things to get attention, and may have ethical challenges that may bring them down. One area where narcissism may show up as its greatest benefit is social media. People who are narcissistic tend to have more friends on social media, they are more active, they take more selfies, and we think of social media without narcissism it would be worthless. Today you can get on your phone and film yourself and put it in front of the world.

All of this has led teachers, coaches, and mentors not to allow themselves to not be shallow in their relationships but to exist for the betterment of the common good. The goal is how to focus your reputation on how to be a good person. What have we learned on how not to allow our ego to take control of our life?

Mentors of Bethany in America a nonprofit organization has created a blueprint for putting egos aside to serve those people who operate on the side of humanity who primarily may have had low self-esteem. Men, women, and youth across the community coming from all walks of life have welcomed the challenge of communicating the personable philosophy of love, hope, joy, and faith to enjoy their lives in family, community, and relationships. These mentors have given of themselves not expecting anything in return. Their vision is the restoration of family and a positive lifestyle for their participants. Their leadership by coaching has little expectations of self-gratification. What may be a distraction to the achievements of these types of successes is the enticement of narcissism with the measures of personal gratification appearance, control, self-entitlement, and the seclusion of not recognizing the culprit of habit that is fueled by our own narcissism. It is narcissism that may be the ingredient that causes us to succeed in our lives but when it becomes the essential factor in our lives for existence it is then when it becomes harmful. Mentors don’t live a life of “it is all about me”. A narcissist has issues with empathy. To break the cycle of homelessness, poverty, absentee fathers, addiction, alcoholism, and crime, society needs to adjust their thinking to share the talents they possess by financially supporting programs that encourage people to regain their self-esteem, family unit, fatherhood, motherhood, work-ethic, integrity, and spirituality. This country started with these values and now it is time to regain this philosophy for those who have been lost in the progress of a nation. In your lifetime have you experienced those individuals who continually share their blessings and rewards of life by avoiding the trap of entitlement? When society transcends into a journey that isn’t as encumbered by the balance of justice or writing another law or creating punitive measures to change lives produces an environment of healthy change. Great teachers, mentors, and coaches are all formally committed to developing the individuals they are creating a relationship to succeed.

The culture of an aspect of not only instructing society but listening to the society and narrowing down the “why” of negative conditions and how cognizance of sensible change would create long-term success. All of us must understand that societies establish themselves over many years of economics, politics, family, education, governance, integrity, faith, jurisprudence, and learned biases. A good plan to address each of the societal ills is to formulate a sensitivity to how and why we are where we are in life and prioritize the steps of creating a better social norm for our citizens in our world. Avoid narcissistic individualism but cast a vision of humility for all of humanity.

Many great programs are making a difference in building a better life. There are current programs that are addressing and successfully making a difference in our communities. Mentors of Bethany in America is just one of the organizations that have shown great progress with people in need. (Contact (100 Black Men of Omaha Inc., ( Achieving Balanced Well-Being, Please make contact with any of these programs for your community. The only change that works is by the trust people have in you. Spread the word! The best variable of positive change comes from the people who are willing to embrace their family, neighbors, citizens, and life with care.

Dr. Gary R Carlson


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